| TEST |
[Aug. 12th, 2002|12:45 am] |
| [ | music |
| | the crystal method - trip like i do | ] |
 |
|
|
| fade... |
[Aug. 10th, 2002|10:31 pm] |
I try to breathe
Memories overtaking me
I try to face them but
The thought is too much to conceive
I only know that I can change
Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness
that my life became 'cause
I just needed someone to talk to
You were just to busy with yourself
You were never there for me
To express how I felt
I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like
I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface I am scratching
Is the bed that I have made
So where were you?
When all this I was going through
You never took the time
To ask me just what you could do
I only know that I can change
Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness
that my life became 'cause
I just needed someone to talk to
You were just to busy with yourself
You were never there for me
To express how I felt
I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like
I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface I am scratching
Is the bed that I have made
I never meant to fade...
Away
I NEVER MEANT TO FADE
I just needed someone to talk to
You were just to busy with yourself
You were never there for me
To express how I felt
I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like
I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface I am scratching
Is the bed that I have made
I try to breathe... |
|
|
| WHATS THIS? |
[Aug. 5th, 2002|09:45 pm] |
SECRET MESSAGE!
!FFOKCUF
GUESS IT AND WIN A PRIZE!
A NEW BAG OF *SHUT THE FUCK UP* ! A $19.99 VALUE! |
|
|
| keep fishin |
[Aug. 1st, 2002|05:39 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | weezer - keep fishin | ] |
Weezer
Keep Fishin'
You'll never be
A better kind
If you don't leave
The world behind
Waste my days
Down the ways
It's just the thought of you
In love with someone else
It breaks my heart to see you
Hanging from your shelf
You'll never do
The things you want
If you don't move
And get a job
Waste my days
Down the ways
It's just the thought of you
In love with someone else
It breaks my heart to see you
Hanging from your shelf
Oh girl, when I'm in love with you
Keep fishin' if you feel it's true
There's nothin' much that we can do
To save you from yourself
Waste my days
Down the ways
It's just the thought of you
In love with someone else
It breaks my heart to see you
Hanging from your shelf
Oh girl, when I'm in love with you
Keep fishin' if you feel it's true
There's nothin' much that we can do
To save you from yourself
You'll never be
A better kind
You'll never be
A better kind
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
Oh, oh |
|
|
| WHAT? HUH? |
[Jul. 31st, 2002|11:05 am] |
hey! fuckoff. |
|
|
| live again. |
[Jul. 30th, 2002|08:37 pm] |
Feeling Nothing
Lonely Empty
You try to walk away but you fall
You cannot understand what's this for
In this world I see it more
The pain you feel that I ignore
You see my face and then you see
nothin'
Confused. you turn and live on
I turn my face
You're staring back again
Look at yourself and live again
Can't see me. you feel me
Want me. you'll find me
I'll be your everything
Will you call
You'll need more & more
When you fall
In this world I see it more
The pain you feel that I ignore
You see my face and then you see
nothing
Confused. you turn and live on
I turn my face
You're staring back again
Look at yourself and live again
How many times have you looked
At yourself & felt mistreated
How does it feel to know that
This life of yours is real
All of your life you've been led
To believe your nothin'
So look at yourself and start to live
again
You see my face and then you see
nothing
Confused you turn and live on
I turn my face
You're staring back again
Look at yourself and live again
If you don't change you'll be nothin'
So look at yourself and live again
I turn my face
You're staring back again
So look at yourself and live again |
|
|
| AGAINST MY WILL I STAND BESIDE MY OWN REFLECTION |
[Jul. 30th, 2002|08:31 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | bored | ] |
| [ | music |
| | linkin park - krwlng | ] |
There's something inside me that pulls beneath
The surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self-control I fear is never ending
Controlling, I can't seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confindence, I'm convinced there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before so insecure
Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
Discompfort endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting, reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting how I can't seem to find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confindence, I'm convinced there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure
Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real |
|
|
| songs |
[Jul. 29th, 2002|04:01 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | read | ] |
You cannot quit me so quickly
There's no hope in you for me
No corner you could squeeze me
But I got all the time for you, love
The Space Between
The tears we cry
Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain
But will I hold you again?
These fickle, fuddled words confuse me
Like 'Will it rain today?'
Waste the hours with talking, talking
These twisted games we're playing
We're strange allies
With warring hearts
What wild-eyed beast you be
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain
Will I hold you again?
Will I hold...
Look at us spinning out in
The madness of a roller coaster
You know you went off like a devil
In a church in the middle of a crowded room
All we can do, my love
Is hope we don't take this ship down
The Space Between
Where you're smiling high
Is where you'll find me if I get to go
The Space Between
The bullets in our firefight
Is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you
The rain that falls
Splash in your heart
Ran like sadness down the window into...
The Space Between
Our wicked lies
Is where we hope to keep safe from pain
Take my hand
'Cause we're walking out of here
Oh, right out of here
Love is all we need here
The Space Between
What's wrong and right
Is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you
The Space Between
Your heart and mine
Is the space we'll fill with time
The Space Between...
DMB - The Space Between
Where are you going
with your long face pulling down?
Don’t hide away like an ocean
But you can’t see, but you can smell
And the sound waves crash down
I am no superman
I have no reasons (answers) for you
I am no hero, oh that’s for sure
But I do know one thing for sure
Is where you are is where I belong
I do know, where you go, is where I want to be
Where are you going, where do you go?
Are you looking for answers
to questions under the stars?
If along the way you are growing weary,
You can rest with me until a brighter day
It's okay (You're okay)
I am no superman
I have no answers for you
I am no hero, oh that’s for sure
But I do know one thing for sure
Is where you are, is where I belong
I do know, where you go
Is where I want to be
Where are you going, where do you go?
[interlude]
Where do you go, where are you going?
Where do you go?
I am no Superman, I have no answers for you
I am no hero, oh that's for sure
But I do know one thing, is where you are,
is where I belong
I do know where you go, is where I want to be.
Where are you going, where do you go?
Tell me where are you going, where do you go?
Where?
Let's go.
DMB - Where Are You Going? |
|
|
| one last time |
[Jul. 1st, 2002|08:18 pm] |
Going through the pages of my fantasies
Pushing all the mercy down, down, down
I wanna see you try to take a swing at me
Come on, gonna put you on the ground, ground, ground
Why are you trying to make fun of me?
You think it's funny?
What the fuck you think it's doing to me?
You take your turn lashing out at me
I want you crying when you're dirty in the front of me (?)
All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming
Come and fill the pages of my fantasies
I'm above you, smiling at you, drown, drown, drown
I wanna kill and rape you the way you raped me
And I'll pull the trigger
And you're down, down, down
Why are you trying to make fun of me?
You think it's funny?
What the fuck you think it's doing to me?
You take your turn lashing out at me
I want you crying when you're dirty in the front of me
All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming
All my friends are gone, they died (gonna take you down)
They all screamed, and cried (gonna take you down)
I got my money, got my money back against the wall
Gonna take you down
All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming
All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming
KORN - THOUGHTLESS |
|
|
| i need music |
[May. 15th, 2002|09:42 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | cold - bleed | ] |
I'm feeling crossed
I take it inside
Burn up the pain
My thoughts are strange
Just like the things
I used to love
Just like the tree that fell
I heard it
If art is still inside
I feel it
I wanna bleed
Show the world all that I have inside
I wanna scream
Let the blood flow that keeps me alive
Take all these strings
They call my veins
Wrap them around
Every fucking thing
Presence of people
Not for me
Well I must remain in tune
Forever
My love is music
I will marry melody
I wanna bleed
Show the world all that I have inside
I wanna scream
Let the blood flow that keeps me alive
Won't you let me take you
For a ride
You can stop the world
Try to change my mind
Won't you let me show you
How it feels
You can stop the world
But you won't change me
I need music
I need music
I need music to set me free
To let me bleed |
|
|
| papa roach song hits the mark |
[May. 10th, 2002|07:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | pessimistic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | blaaaaah | ] |
When I see her eyes look into my eyes
Then I realize that she can see inside my head
So I close my eyes thinking that I could hide
Disassociate so I don't have to lose my head
The situation, is to adjatation if she cut me off
Would this be an amputation?
I don't know if I care
I'm the jerk, life's not fair
Fighting all the time
This is out of line
She loves me not, loves me not
Do you realize I won't compromise
She loves me not, loves me not
Over the past five years I have shed my tears
I have drank my beers and watch my fingers fly away
Then until this day you still swing my way
But its sad to say sometimes she says she loves me not
But I hesatate to tell her I hate
This relationship I wanted to date this is over
Life's Not Fair
I'm the jerk
Line for line, ryhme for ryhme
Sometimes I be writin' all the goddam time
It's makin' me sick
Relationship is gettin' ill
This your stupid man
On the lil, could you feel
What I feel, what's the deal girl
We're tearin' up each others world
We should be in harmony boy and girl
That is a promise we made
Back in the day
You told me that things wouldn't be this way
I think we should work this out
'Cause all I didn't mean is to scream and shout
Life's not fair
Life's not fair
Life's not fair
I'm the jerk
Life's not fair
She loves me not
Loves me not
PAPA ROACH - SHE LOVES ME NOT |
|
|
| drift and die |
[Apr. 27th, 2002|09:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | puddle of mudd - drift and die | ] |
Forgotten thoughts of yesterday
through my eyes I see the past
Well I don't know I don't know I don't know why
I Believe I Believe I Believe in the truth, from inside
go away go away go away from me
leave me alone
ignorance spreads lies
how much will money bye
Well I'll take my time as I drift and die
Unwanted live my life a shame
Who's to blame for my mistakes
as I drift and die
ignorance spreads lies
how much will money bye
Well I'll take my time
As I drift and die |
|
|
| black balloon |
[Apr. 19th, 2002|12:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | blank | ] |
| [ | music |
| | goo goo dolls - black balloon | ] |
Baby's black balloon makes her fly
I almost fell into that hole in your life
And you're not thinking about tomorrow
'Cause you were the same as me
But on your knees
A thousand other boys could never reach you
How could I have been the one
I saw the world spin beneath you
And scatter like ice from the spoon
That was your womb
Comin' down the world turned over
And angels fall without you there
And I go on as you get colder
Or are you someone's prayer
You know the lies they always told you
And the love you never knew
What's the things they never showed you
That swallowed the light from the sun
Inside your room
Comin' down the world turned over
And angels fall without you there
And I go on as you get colder
Or are you someone's prayer
And there's no time left for losin'
When you stand they fall
Comin' down the world turned over
And angels fall without you there
And I go on as you get colder
All because I'm
Comin' down the years turn over
And angels fall without you there
And I'll go and lead you home and
All because I'm
All because I'm
And I'll become
What you became to me |
|
|
| here is gone... |
[Apr. 18th, 2002|05:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | mellow | ] |
| [ | music |
| | goo goo dolls - here is gone. | ] |
You and I got something
But it's all and then it's nothing to me
And I got my defenses
When it comes to your intentions for me
And we wake up in the breakdown
Of the things we never thought we could be
I'm not the one who broke you
I'm not the one you should fear
What do you got to move you darling
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all
And I want to get free talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be all you need
Somehow here is gone
I have no solution
To the sound of this pollution in me
And I was not the answer
So forget you ever thought it was me
I'm not the one who broke you
I'm not the one you should fear
What do you got to move you darling
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all
And I don't need the fallout of all the past
That's here between us
And I'm not holding on
And all your lies weren't enough to keep me here
And I want to get free talk to me
I can feel you falling
I know it's out there
I know it's out there
I can feel you falling
I know it's out there
I know it's out there
Somehow here is gone |
|
|
| TOOOOOL |
[Apr. 16th, 2002|03:16 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
| [ | music |
| | tool - aenema | ] |
Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will.
I sure could use a vacation from this
Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of
Freaks
Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
Any fucking time. Any fucking day.
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.
Fret for your figure and
Fret for your latte and
Fret for your hairpiece and
Fret for your lawsuit and
Fret for your prozac and
Fret for your pilot and
Fret for your contract and
Fret for your car.
It's a
Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of
Freaks
Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
Any fucking time. Any fucking day.
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.
Some say a comet will fall from the sky.
Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves.
Followed by faultlines that cannot sit still.
Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits.
Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will cuz
I sure could use a vacation from this
Silly shit, stupid shit...
One great big festering neon distraction,
I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied.
Learn to swim.
Mom's gonna fix it all soon.
Mom's comin' round to put it back the way it ought to be.
Learn to swim.
Fuck L Ron Hubbard and
Fuck all his clones.
Fuck all those gun-toting
Hip gangster wannabes.
Learn to swim.
Fuck retro anything.
Fuck your tattoos.
Fuck all you junkies and
Fuck your short memory.
Learn to swim.
Fuck smiley glad-hands
With hidden agendas.
Fuck these dysfunctional,
Insecure actresses.
Learn to swim.
Cuz I'm praying for rain
And I'm praying for tidal waves
I wanna see the ground give way.
I wanna watch it all go down.
Mom please flush it all away.
I wanna watch it go right in and down.
I wanna watch it go right in.
Watch you flush it all away.
Time to bring it down again.
Don't just call me pessimist.
Try and read between the lines.
I can't imagine why you wouldn't
Welcome any change, my friend.
I wanna see it all come down.
suck it down.
flush it down. |
|
|
| pissed off mood |
[Apr. 13th, 2002|10:09 pm] |
some songs seem to be written for me, heres one that pertains to my current mood, and the person who reads it, since theres only one person who reads my journal should take it quite seriously.
Looks like i'm gonna do everything myself
Maybe I could use some help
But hell, you want something done right
You gotta do it yourself
Maybe life is up and down but
My life's been (what?) till now
I crawled up your butt somehow
And that's when things got turned around
I used to be alive
Now I feel pathetic and now I get it
What's done is done you just leave it alone and don't regret it
But sometimes, some things turn into dumb things
And that's when you put your foot down.
Why did I have to go and meet somebody like you (like you)
Why did you have to go and hurt somebody like me (like me)
How you could do somebody like that? (like that)
Hope you know that i'm never coming back (never coming back)
Looks like i'm gonna do everything myself (everything myself)
Maybe I could use some help
But hell, if you want something done right
You just do it yourself (got it?)
Maybe life is up and down but
My life's been (what?) till now (got it)
I crawled up your butt somehow (got it)
And that's when shit got turned around (got it)
I used to be alive
I'm so pathetic but now I get it
What's done is done I know you just leave it alone and don't regret it
But sometimes some things turn into dumb things
And that's when you put your foot down.
Why did I have to go and meet somebody like you?
Why did you have to go and hurt somebody like me?
How you could do somebody like that?
Hope you know that i'm never comin' back
Why did I have to go and meet somebody like you?
Why did you have to go and hurt somebody like me?
How you could do somebody like that?
Hope you know that i'm never comin' back
Depending on you is done
Giving to you is done
No more eating no sleeping
No living it's all just more giving to you and i'm done
Depending on you is done
Giving to you is done
No more reaching no sleeping
No living it's all just more giving to you and i'm done
The hiding from you is done
The lying from you is done
No more eating no more sleeping
No living it's all just more giving to you and i'm done
Why did I have to go and meet somebody like you?
Why did you have to go and hurt somebody like me?
How you could do somebody like that?
I hope you know that i'm never coming back
Why did I have to go and meet somebody like you?
Why did you have to go and hurt somebody like me?
How you could do somebody like that?
I hope you know that i'm never coming back
Why?
Why?
Why? |
|
|
| i'm just seein red |
[Apr. 13th, 2002|10:22 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | melancholy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | unwritten law - seein red | ] |
I'm seein red
Don't think you'll have to see my face again
don't have much time for sympathy
Cuz it never happened to me
You feelin blue now
I think you bit off more than you could chew
And now it's time to make a choice
And all I wanna hear is your...
So follow the leader down
And swallow your pride and drown
When there's no place left to go
Maybe thats when you will know
Follow the leader down
And swallow your pride and drown
When theres no place left to go
Maybe thats when you will know
And foolish lies well can't you see
I tried to compromise
Cuz what you say ain't always true
And I can see the tears in your eyes
And what you said now
Can't stop the words from running through my head
And what I do to get through to you
But you'd only do it again
So follow the leader down
And swallow your pride and drown
When there's no place left to go
Maybe that's when you will know
Follow the leader down
And swallow your pride and drown
When there's no place left to go
Maybe that's when you will know
Well I confess, I don't know what to make from all this mess
Don't have much time for sympathy
But it never happened to me
You Feelin down I don't know where i'll be when you come around
And now it's time to make a choice,
And all I wanna hear is your voice... |
|
|
| depressed |
[Apr. 12th, 2002|11:03 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | kid rock - lonely road of faith | ] |
i dunno, no one to talk to, MG called earlier but i had to mow the lawn etc. so it wasnt a long talk by any means. i'm kinda down, but i'm sure i'll be happy again by tomorrow, who knows, life seems to be going by pretty slow lately. people just arent what they used to be, its a sad reality shock, but its the truth I guess. nothing more to type, just gonna chill here.
your next door neighbor ,mike |
|
|
| easy tonight |
[Apr. 11th, 2002|05:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | optimistic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | five for fighting - easy tonight | ] |
You were wrong
You were right
You are gone
Tonight
You were free
So alive
You were wrong
You were right
You were down
You could see
You wore hearts
for me
You were sharp
Sharp as knives
You were wrong
You were right
Shot down: said you never had the chance
Took a ride on a suicide romance
Could have sworn there was somebody home
To facilitate the great unknown
Woman, I ain't going to meet you anywhere
Don't know where I'm going yet:
But I sure am getting there
Shotgun fire: anybody home
I got two dimes in the telephone
Alright: It's not easy tonight
You were bound
You were free
You wear black
for me
You were dark
Dark as night
You were wrong
You were right
Shot down: said you never had the chance
Took a ride on a suicide romance
Could have sworn there was somebody home
To facilitate the great unknown
But woman, I ain't going to meet you anywhere
Don't know where I'm going yet:But I sure am getting there
Shotgun fire: anybody home
I got two dimes in the telephone
Alright: It's not easy tonight
She's In. Over my head:and it's not easy it's not easy tonight
Shotgun fire: anybody home
I got two dimes in the telephone
Alright: It's not easy tonight
You were free:Now your not:You were free |
|
|
| Here To Stay |
[Apr. 4th, 2002|04:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | relaxed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Korn - Here To Stay | ] |
"Here To Stay"
This time taking it away
I?ve got a problem
With me getting in the way
My final sign
So I take my face and bash it into a mirror
I won't have to see the pain bleed bleed
This state is elevating
As the hurt turns into hating
Anticipating all the fucked up feelings again
The hurt inside is fading
This shits gone way to far
All this time I?ve been waiting
Now I cannot grieve anymore
For what?s in side awaking
My god I?m not a whore
You?ve taken everything
And now I cannot give anymore
My minds done with this
Ok I got a question
Can I throw it all away?
Take back what?s mine?
So I take my time driving humbly down the line
Each cut goes up to the vain bleed bleed
this state is elevating
As the hurt turns into hating,
Anticipating all the fucked up feelings again
The hurt inside is fading
This shits gone way to far
All this time I?ve been waiting
Now I cannot grieve anymore
For what?s in side awaking
My god I?m not a whore
You?ve taken everything
And now I can not give anymore
I?m here to stay, Bring me down [x4]
Gonna Bring me / you down [x5]
This state is elevating
As the hurt turns into hating
Anticipating all the fucked up feelings again
The hurt inside is fading
This shits gone way to far
All this time I?ve been waiting
Now I cannot grieve anymore
For what?s in side awaking
My god I?m not a whore
You?ve taken everything
And now I cannot give anymore
give anymore [x3]
gotta love Korn....classic stuff.
anyways, its way too calm around here, I have the feeling some bad shits gonna go down sometime, always happens, so I'm on my toes, but for now its peaceful around these parts. this is slam once again saying see you on the flipside. |
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